deception

our souls caught on fire...
you tell me you want me too
but where were you
when it was all crashing down around me
where are you now
i'm drowning in the ashes
and all i want is the one thing that hurt me the most
why is that?


and you tell me "i've changed"
but baby, what did you expect?
how else does one deal with their life falling apart
but to adapt to the new habitat, new circumstances, new lifestyle, new person
let the past fade into black
or at least try
obviously i didn't try hard enough
because my past, it fucking haunts me
your voice is in my head
your eyes look back at me in the mirror
i hear your voice in my head, telling me what to do
and today? today i SAW you
my dreams projected into my reality
a hologram, it was you
everything i wanted, yet i knew
it was empty
full of empty promises and lies
i knew this
and yet all i wanted
'was you.


and i cant even begin to explain how much
how much it hurt me
hurt?
pain?
i dont know
i tried
to kill myself
i couldnt live
without you,


but here i am
i wish i'd tried a little harder to finish the job
so i wouldn be here
feeling this
without you
alone


i tell you
the things i KNOW i should keep to myself
but who makes the rules?
it's up to me to decide
and who are you
to say otherwise.


i tell you that
i love you
that i miss you
you use this to your advantage.


and for that, you know, i fucking hate you, i know i could never hate you but fuck i wish i could.

it eats me alive


you are killing me here! don;t you see?


are you leading me on? is this a game to you?
i don;t get it.


get fucked up and try your hardest not to think.
the easy way? try the only way
how else do you expect me to survive this


i do not intend to let you go

baby