expression

it's as impractical as it is beautiful

this moment, you and i, it could be so simple, yet we complicate.
it's alright; it's worth it in the end.
there are some pieces of this puzzle that I just can't seem to fit
cut them down to size and figure this out
it draws closer every day

i don;t fit but i pretend. they see straught through me, straight through this.
she says to me "you need to get help"
but maybe i don;t want to change.

i head home along these deserted streets
solitude is comforting in the silence and the calm
glance to my side and you;re walking beside me, in my head i feel like this will be okay

we don;t know where to go from here. where are you going?
you walk away and
the last thing
that i see is your
bright blue
eyes

meanwhile i walk on, my mind creates a place where i can be safe with you
a place which i;d rather be
the silence, the quiet is my friend
i know you're in my head, you're all inside my head and that;s all i have left

we are so close yet so far
who am i to judge
so close, so far, and who are you to judge?

where is your god now.

pull my head out of this ocean inside me
just so i can breathe
with my one last gasping breath
i might apologise for all that which i cannot change
drowning in the silence and the whispers of your voice
that linger just out of reach
they say forgive, forget, move on
but maybe i don;t want to change.

hold my hand, we'll be okay.
hopelessly wandering through the shadows of a dream that i can;'t quite define
i know that i am lost and there is no way out
hold my hand and let's explore my private hell'
keep myself locked minside this prison cell
ignite, tonight, light the fire and let it burn
we both know that i will never get out

you're on your knees begging please, god, please
pray all you want but who's gonna save us?
both of us know that i'm not getting out alive
you live in denial of that which you despise
even when it's standing right next to you
you know, i know, we know this can;t be right, but we'll fight on, this is not our time

i don;t belong here any more than you, and all you yearn for is an escape from this mess
but this, this is a lifetime
so where is your god now?
after hoping and praying and crying and begging
tell me, where is your god now?

i find something in the shape and sound of your name on my lips
thats comforts me,
keeps me from wandering too far from you

something keeps me from taking the freedom that i know i could so easily have
when i let my mind wander it stumbles across you
i find that in you which i wish to be
but i;m trapped in this dream
there's no getting out of here alive

i keep searching and all i ever find are landmarks to guide the way
don;t knwo where it is that i;m going but i guess i'll find out one day

do you believe in heaven?
where is your god now?

waste your time praying but we both know there's no getting out of here alive
there is no saving the forgotten and the damned.

the tear stained pillowcase, the darkness in the light, the memories that haunt me, this fire burns inside
now the fire is gone and my grace is gone and i am not what i used to be.
my head is reeling, what is this feeling? my head floats towards the ceiling and i only hope i'm heading somewhere better than this

i wander through this darkness
i swear i'd drown in all that light
and no matter how many breathes i took, i still couldn;t breathe

that she wanted to save everything;
but she couldn't even save herself.

i want the pain of payment.

the unravelling of moments, the unstitching of a thread, the lingering kiss

it's been a good day

went for a walk for an hour
i feel better
cleaner